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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide.Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
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25 replies
TrippyLily · 06/11/2022 22:54
Very new to it and could use ANY advice on how to use it safely as a single female. TIA!
OP posts:
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VanGoghsDog · 06/11/2022 22:55
There's plenty of advice on the site itself, so you should read that.
Metabigot · 06/11/2022 22:56
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TrippyLily · 06/11/2022 22:59
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Wtf, I'm not a troll. Why would you think that? I'm looking for experiences of people who have used the site before.
OP posts:
TrippyLily · 06/11/2022 23:03
VanGoghsDog · 06/11/2022 22:55
There's plenty of advice on the site itself, so you should read that.
I didn't see the safety bit on the website but have found it on the bottom of the page now. Ta. I'm just a bit anxious about it as have never met anyone from online before other than regular dating. That's all. I'm really not a troll.
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ChiefPearlClutcher · 06/11/2022 23:07
Try Killing Kittens instead. It’s much more friendly towards women.
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TrippyLily · 06/11/2022 23:08
ChiefPearlClutcher · 06/11/2022 23:07
Try Killing Kittens instead. It’s much more friendly towards women.
I've had some vile messages on fabswingers to be fair and it's only every 30-40 or messages you get one that seems genuine and friendly. Some have been pretty disgusting!
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DramaAlpaca · 06/11/2022 23:17
You could try asking in the Sex topic, OP.
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hay5689 · 06/11/2022 23:20
Men hugely outnumber women on there so you'll be inundated with messages. I don't think there's a way to pick out the good ones unfortunately, although I'd recommend using the block button to any unsavoury messages you've received and they can't contact you again.
IfIHadAHeart · 06/11/2022 23:24
Oh I’m so glad you posted this! I joined last night and have received nothing but dick pics. Very little in the way of conversation! I don’t think it’s for me.
One thing I have wondered is where on earth all these large penises are in real life…every one I’ve received has been huge!! Larger than anything I’ve seen in person. They can’t all be real 😂
TrippyLily · 06/11/2022 23:24
DramaAlpaca · 06/11/2022 23:17
You could try asking in the Sex topic, OP.
I did ask something similar recently and got a handful of answers but doesn't seem that many people use that topic and it doesn't show up on the main thread list so posted on here. Happy to report and have it moved if not appropriate.
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TrippyLily · 06/11/2022 23:25
IfIHadAHeart · 06/11/2022 23:24
Oh I’m so glad you posted this! I joined last night and have received nothing but dick pics. Very little in the way of conversation! I don’t think it’s for me.
One thing I have wondered is where on earth all these large penises are in real life…every one I’ve received has been huge!! Larger than anything I’ve seen in person. They can’t all be real 😂
Have you not noticed they're all taken from a very suspicious angle though? 😂
OP posts:
IfIHadAHeart · 06/11/2022 23:29
That’s very true. And they are all so proud!! Like we should all be queuing up for a chance to spend time with their “lovely” penis.
I might have to try KK, it’s women or couples I was hoping to find anyway but saying I’m not interested in single men on my profile does nothing to deter them
Sillysosij · 06/11/2022 23:31
I would recommend going to a local swingers/nudist club or event first. If you’re near Kent, check out Eureka’s. Online, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, but in person at a good venue you can get yourself a drink and just chill for a bit, check out what others are doing and meet people casually.
TrippyLily · 06/11/2022 23:35
IfIHadAHeart · 06/11/2022 23:29
That’s very true. And they are all so proud!! Like we should all be queuing up for a chance to spend time with their “lovely” penis.
I might have to try KK, it’s women or couples I was hoping to find anyway but saying I’m not interested in single men on my profile does nothing to deter them
The audacity!
OP posts:
TrippyLily · 06/11/2022 23:36
Sillysosij · 06/11/2022 23:31
I would recommend going to a local swingers/nudist club or event first. If you’re near Kent, check out Eureka’s. Online, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, but in person at a good venue you can get yourself a drink and just chill for a bit, check out what others are doing and meet people casually.
I'm just being inundated with messages. I don't even have a proper picture on my account yet, just one of my body, fully clothed, a bit boring, and I've had 300 messages in 2 days. It all seems a bit desperate. I would really love some good sex but am in no way desperate....
OP posts:
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hay5689 · 06/11/2022 23:36
IfIHadAHeart · 06/11/2022 23:29
That’s very true. And they are all so proud!! Like we should all be queuing up for a chance to spend time with their “lovely” penis.
I might have to try KK, it’s women or couples I was hoping to find anyway but saying I’m not interested in single men on my profile does nothing to deter them
Check your filters. You can set them so you only receive messages from women and couples.
TrippyLily · 06/11/2022 23:38
I was chatting to a guy who seemed nice, but has now started saying 'can you please come over when I'm in the area', 'your butt is amazing' (my photo only shows the front of me), and has asked me twice if I'm single.
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JustLyra · 07/11/2022 01:04
Block men from messaging. Look for guys you like and message them first.
Don’t reply to the ones you don’t like to be polite - if you message them then change your message filters later to block men the algorithm will exclude them from the block as you’ve had conversation.
Look out for the regular group socials if there are any in your area. The one larger ones organised by well verified folks tend to get a good attendance, they don’t let it get overrun by single guys and they’re a good way to meet people safely.
If you’re close to a club consider only meeting in a club. It’s safer as you’ll have staff around, and there are still options if the guy no-shows (as many many will).
Trust your instinct. If someone feels too good to be true they probably are.
eggsandbaconeveryday · 05/12/2022 14:24
You need to set up some filters - this will cut down on the random messages. You can be very much in control of who contacts you. Always do a face time before meeting anyone and tell a friend where you will be going .
Thisisworsethananticpated · 05/12/2022 15:50
If you only want casual
tinder and hinge have loads of men wanting casual
there is no shortage !
ive also heard good things about FEELD
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Thisisworsethananticpated · 05/12/2022 15:51
It’s also totally ok to have a chemistry coffee or drink first
anyone that expects a f*ck from first meeting is a Dullard and not realistic
what are you looking for ideally ?
JustLyra · 05/12/2022 16:20
eggsandbaconeveryday · 05/12/2022 14:24
You need to set up some filters - this will cut down on the random messages. You can be very much in control of who contacts you. Always do a face time before meeting anyone and tell a friend where you will be going .
I would say only do a video call on Skype or Kik or somewhere that doesn’t need your actual phone number.
Unless you have a separate play phone don’t give random guys on Fab your number until you’ve met them.
Lollysticks12 · 07/12/2022 11:37
I used the site, did everything right , thought I'd met someone genuine just wanting hook ups and he filmed us having sex without my knowledge, be careful
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 07/12/2022 11:42
Go to a local social. But to find people for meets on the site I advise using parameters that work for you such as -
block all unverified users
block all profiles without a profile pic
I've had a few meets from fab and they have all been fun. I only entertained messages from verified men and auto deleted dick profile pics. You just need to be discerning :)
tretteee · 14/12/2023 06:11
- Victoria Milan - victoriamilan.com One of the sites which still work if you're patient enough.
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